If I’m even starting to wonder how they’ll perceive me… is this the place for me?

I saw this rapper talking about how he drives Uber while chasing his dream — and it stopped me. Because that’s the part people don’t usually talk about. You’ll hear rappers talking about getting money, stacking, driving luxury cars — even when they’re not there yet. And that’s fine. Manifest your dreams. Speak your success into existence.

But what really caught me was how honest he was about the journey — that messy, holy middle ground, the in-between. That liminal space between faith and fulfillment, between knowing you’re right there and waiting for the world around you to catch up.

I know that feeling. I love helping people launch their shows. I love creating podcasts and finding ways to monetize the work I’m doing. But right now, I still need to get a job since being laid off — so I can make money and continue to build this vision the way I see it and sustain myself. And that’s okay.

Everybody loves to post the wins — the awards, the highlights, the moments when everything clicks — and I’m deeply grateful for my recent accomplishments. And yet there’s this whole in-between that doesn’t make the feed. And it deserves to be honored.

That’s where I’m at right now. And I know I’m not the only one. Drop a 🤎 in the comments if that’s where you are right now.

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So, I’ve been applying for jobs lately, and it’s brought up things I didn’t expect. It’s been over six years since I’ve worked in an in-person role, and I didn’t realize how much comfort remote work had given me — one, as a Black woman, and two, as someone who’s evolved into this version of myself: tattoos, piercings, visible ink, freedom.

So when I caught myself asking a recruiter — who’d actually reached out to me because I’m fire as fuck — if my tattoos or piercings might be a concern, it stopped me in my tracks. Because I realized I was even thinking about going somewhere I might be only tolerated — and worrying about how I’d be perceived at all.

That’s when my Spirit Team tapped me on the shoulder like,

“Girl. We already told you who you are. Stop playing.”

And that’s when the question rose up: If I’m already wondering whether I’ll be accepted for who I am, is this even the place for me?

I was even overthinking my hair again. I’ve been a bald goddess, a braided goddess, and a wigged goddess — period. My work ethic, my creativity, my leadership — they speak for themselves. But even now, transitioning from wigs back to braids while growing my hair out, all these thoughts came flooding in.

As a Black woman, that awareness runs deep. Because it’s never just about appearance — it’s about presence. It’s about whether the fullness of you is welcomed in the room or merely tolerated. And I realized: even this popping into my spirit means it’s not alignment — it’s a warning sign.

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So this morning, I pulled cards: Four of Wands, Temperance, The Chariot.

Temperance reminded me to stay patient — to hold space for the in-between and share it. The Chariot said, Forward motion is coming. Don’t force what’s out of alignment. But the Four of Wands — that one lit me up. 🎉 Celebration. Belonging. Joy.

That’s what we deserve to feel in our next seasons — in work, in relationships, in life.
Not just tolerance, but celebration. Not anxiety about being “too much,” but appreciation for the light we bring to the space.

So when I woke up the next day after that recruiter call, I already knew: this wasn’t my role. I’d never asked those kinds of questions of a job before — and that alone told me what I needed to know.

By that afternoon, the call came in: I didn’t get it. And I didn’t spiral. I thanked my Spirit Team.

Because Spirit had already said,

Celebrate where and who you are. You’ve worked so hard to be yourself. Don’t chase what can’t see your light.

I also have Chiron in Leo — the wounded healer — and Black Moon Lilith in Capricorn. Those placements mean that every achievement carries a lesson in visibility. Sometimes it feels like every breakthrough comes with a shadow moment right behind it. But Chiron in Leo keeps calling me to step into the light — to own the parts of myself that heal while they shine.

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Remote work gave me freedom — a chance to breathe and just be. Now, as I step into this next season, I’m learning what it means to protect that same freedom wherever I go.

I love podcasting. I love teaching others how to tell their stories. Right now, that work doesn’t cover everything. The awards, the downloads, the growth — they’re affirming.

But I’m still building. Still flowing. So if you’re in your in-between — waiting, working, flowing, trusting — know this: You deserve to be celebrated where you are, not edited to fit where you’re tolerated.

If this resonated, tell me why in the comments or share it with someone else navigating their in-between. May you find the spaces that see you and celebrate you. And comment below — how are you celebrating your in-between?

🤎 If this reflection spoke to you, offer what feels aligned — a Love Offering, a restack, a subscription, or share the incredible Black voices in our directory. It all keeps the current moving.

xoxo,

Goddess Thea