You’re Not Lazy, You’ve Just Never Been Asked What You Want
Let that land. Then read it again. Let’s be real. Most of us have been in go-mode for so long that when things finally slow down, even just a little, we start questioning everything.
Not because we don’t deserve rest. Not because we don’t have dreams. But because no one’s ever really asked us: “What do you want?”
Not “what are you good at?” Not “what job can you land?” Not “what do people expect from you?” But what you, in your full self, actually desire when no one is assigning your worth.
We’ve been taught to equate rest with laziness. We’ve been trained to only stop moving when we collapse. And we’ve been programmed to view silence or stillness as failure. So when that pause finally comes? It can feel like a setup.
You are not lazy. You are recovering.
This episode is a voice note straight from my spirit to yours. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s me reflecting on the layers that came up after being laid off. Not just the logistics, but the emotional recalibration of what it means to have no one telling you what to do anymore.
I share a story about an old boss who once told me, “When I finally took time off from work, I realized I was lazy.” And I remember thinking: do you really believe that about yourself, or did the world teach you that? That stayed with me. And now I’m saying what she couldn’t:
You’re not lazy. You’ve just never been asked.
And now that you have, it might take a minute to answer.
That’s not a flaw. That’s an invitation.
The Invitation
This week’s post and episode are a gentle push to start asking yourself the question so many of us have been too tired, too busy, or too scared to ask: What do I actually want?
Not what you can tolerate. Not what you can make work. Not what sounds good or looks good on paper. But what feels aligned. Joyful. Expansive. Even if you don’t know the answer yet, that’s okay.
You don’t have to burn your life down to begin again. You don’t have to quit your job or launch a business. You just have to start listening. For what’s yours, not what’s been assigned to you.
Your Tarea This Week
Make a little room. In your mind. In your day. In your body. And gently ask yourself: If no one was telling me what to do, what would I choose for myself? What do I want, without guilt? Without shame.
Let it be soft. Let it be curious. Let it be yours.
And when the answers start to come as whispers, images, half-sentences—write them down. Speak them out loud. Don’t rush. Just listen.
Let’s Talk About It
What came up when you asked yourself this question?
What do you want but haven’t given yourself permission to name?
Or if you’re not sure yet, share what gets in the way.
Let’s talk through it.
This space is here to serve us. And I read every comment because I care about what’s rising up in your spirit.
🃏 Coming Soon: Spades & Shade
And if you’re in your own season of shedding, searching, or returning to yourself, I want to invite you to join me in Spades & Shade.
It’s not just a tarot course. It’s a reflective series for Black women who are ready to trust themselves more deeply. To see their truth in the cards. To find clarity, not just answers. We start July 18. You don’t need to be “ready.” You just need to show up.
Tap in here to join us. And if you register by July 18 at 3:30 PM CT, use the code CUTTHAT for $22 off.
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Let’s unlearn the lie that our value is tied to what we produce.
Let’s return to ourselves.
You’re not lazy.
You’re just finally being asked.
And I hope you let yourself answer.
xoxo,
Goddess Thea
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